World Cup Smackdown

Every year in December, you hear a lot of people griping about how complicated the NFL Playoffs scenarios are. How if Arizona beats an out-of-contention Detroit team, that means Chicago plays at home in the first round and Minnesota drops out of the playoffs altogether--crap like that.

Well, take a look at what it's going to take for the US to advance in the World Cup.

The US needs to beat Ghana AND one of the following has to happen:

1. Italy defeats the Czech Republic.

2. Italy ties the Czech Republic 0-0 or 1-1 AND the United States beats Ghana by at least four goals.

3. Italy ties the Czech Republic 2-2 or with a higher score AND the United States beats Ghana by five or more goals.

4. Italy ties the Czech Republic 2-2 or with a higher score AND the United States beats Ghana by four goals AND the U.S. team scores at least three goals more than the Czechs do in their tie.

5. The Czech Republic beats Italy AND the total combined margin of victory for the Americans and Czechs is six or more.

6. The Czech Republic beats Italy AND the total combined margin of victory for the Americans and Czechs is five AND the U.S. team scores at least three goals more than the Italians do in their loss.

7. The Czech Republic beats Italy AND the total combined margin of victory for the Americans and Czechs is five AND the U.S. team scores exactly two more goals than the Italians do in their loss AND the Americans win a drawing of lots by FIFA.

Simple, isn't it? I mean, I'll have to ask my lawyer, but it seems like we have a shot.