Be There Or Suck. End of Story.

It's Red Sox vs. Y***ees today. Old traditions combining with new rivalries. You have the freshness of Damon in pinstripes and Beckett's first trip to the Stadium since the Series. You have the age-old rituals, like Sheffield and Giambi injecting themselves with steroids.

We're 32 games into the season. Out of 162. It is impossible to communicate how meaningless this game is in the grand scheme of a six-month long baseball season. Yet I can say with total mental clarity that it is the most important thing happening in the world tomorrow.

Let's look at the competition:

The CIA needs to confirm a new director. We've needed one for six years. We can make it through a three game series without another guy who has Cheney's hand up his ass.

War in Iraq. Yeah, no one's denying that's heavy stuff. However, unless Iraq can somehow form a miracle coalition government that proves to be stable in the long term, I'm sticking it on page two.

Continuing nuclear brinksmanship with Iran? Trust me, nobody's dropping the big one tomorrow, so it's strictly back-burner stuff.

So there you have it. Beckett and Johnson at 7:05 Eastern. Get your priorities straight.

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Confidential to YES!: I've brushed my teeth twice today. I got rid of a pretty nice buildup of plaque this morning, but the evening brush was disappointing. I may need a new brush soon--the Oral-B indicator is on low and I face a hard decision now regarding a possible replacement. Thanks as always for your concern.