The Problem With Talking To The Dead
The dead have been getting a lot of attention the past few years. You can't turn on your TV or go into a bookstore without seeing some story involving someone who sees dead people or talks to dead people. It's even brought the zombie movie back--there've been, what, 80 of those in the past couple of years?
Everything I've read about it says this is a sign of people looking for comfort in a post-9/11 world. We're anxious about death, looking for some security that there will be a light for us to go towards. Our stories reflect that. Or, conversely, they reflect that the dead will return to eat the brains of the living for their sins. Who knows?
See, the fictional stuff about the dead talking to us is just innocent escapism and if it makes some folks feel better, I suppose that's just swell. The reality stuff is where we cross a line.
Remember John Edward? He claimed (and still claims) to speak to the dead for private clients--and later, on television. This is clearly bullshit. People have been claiming this for thousands of years, all using more or less the same techniques. This guy set himself up as some kind of paranormal therapist, though.
He would talk to your dead mother about the stepfather who molested you and tell you that she is SO sorry she didn't do anything about it. Or assure you that Grandma wants you to know that everything is so peaceful now and it was the right decision to pull the plug. People left his stage staggering, weeping.
And I saw this occasionally--it ran on two stations multiple times a day. All I could think is, "If there does turn out to be an afterlife, John Edward is going to hell. And not regular hell, either. Hitler hell." These were desperate people, desperate for solace and closure and all the other stuff that takes years to achieve through hard work and life experience. And he was saying--POOF!--you're okay. Sure, everyone left the stage crying, "Thank you, thank you." Two weeks later, when they're still having the nightmares, John Edward was not going to be there to help.
(And that's true, really, with all reality television. The cameras are there to film the "reveal," the big moment where the "real person" takes off the bandages or gets the dream house. And viewers are supposed to think, "Wow, this show really affected this person's life."
But life goes on, and viewers don't see how the "real people" were actually affected. How the experience of being on TV can spackle over the cracks in a person's life for a while, but never get rid of them. How it can sometimes make them worse. And by then, we're on to the next show anyway.)
I work on one of these shows now. Not a medium show and not one nearly that ethically bankrupt. But without mentioning the name, I will say that there's a lot of discussion about ghosts and when you're talking ghosts, you're talking dead people.
Most of the time, when the people I talk to say they're being haunted, it's by an unnamed spirit. Either their house is on an ancient burial ground or six people were pole-axed there in the eighteenth century but no one knows who they were. It's just...ghosts. (Once in a while, someone will name the spirit that's harassing them. You know, like a pet. Like the windchimes will suddenly go crazy for no reason and they just tell the neighbors, "Oh, don't mind that. That's just Penny.") My point is, we're dealing mostly with dead people in the abstract--a concept, not a name.
Once in a while, though...
We just ran into a "case" where in the course of the "investigation" a female "ghost" was "found." And only one woman was known to have died on the site. And it was a violent death. And it less than 20 years ago. And we know her name. We even have her picture.
This woman still has a family out there. I know this. I checked. Their house is probably still covered with pictures of their daughter--their daughter who never even got to her 30's. They were certainly proud of her. I'm not going to tell you why, but they're right to be proud. They probably still have her trophies. Maybe they still have her room just the way it was when she left home.
And maybe they watch our network. And if they turn on the TV and hear her name or see her picture...then reality TV has just become too real. It's too much to ask of anyone, to have to relive that horror for the cheap entertainment of others. It's not fair to them and it would be cruel of us. It would make us tourists in their suffering.
No decision has been made yet. I'll let you know if I'm going to get the cell next to John Edward.
Everything I've read about it says this is a sign of people looking for comfort in a post-9/11 world. We're anxious about death, looking for some security that there will be a light for us to go towards. Our stories reflect that. Or, conversely, they reflect that the dead will return to eat the brains of the living for their sins. Who knows?
See, the fictional stuff about the dead talking to us is just innocent escapism and if it makes some folks feel better, I suppose that's just swell. The reality stuff is where we cross a line.
Remember John Edward? He claimed (and still claims) to speak to the dead for private clients--and later, on television. This is clearly bullshit. People have been claiming this for thousands of years, all using more or less the same techniques. This guy set himself up as some kind of paranormal therapist, though.
He would talk to your dead mother about the stepfather who molested you and tell you that she is SO sorry she didn't do anything about it. Or assure you that Grandma wants you to know that everything is so peaceful now and it was the right decision to pull the plug. People left his stage staggering, weeping.
And I saw this occasionally--it ran on two stations multiple times a day. All I could think is, "If there does turn out to be an afterlife, John Edward is going to hell. And not regular hell, either. Hitler hell." These were desperate people, desperate for solace and closure and all the other stuff that takes years to achieve through hard work and life experience. And he was saying--POOF!--you're okay. Sure, everyone left the stage crying, "Thank you, thank you." Two weeks later, when they're still having the nightmares, John Edward was not going to be there to help.
(And that's true, really, with all reality television. The cameras are there to film the "reveal," the big moment where the "real person" takes off the bandages or gets the dream house. And viewers are supposed to think, "Wow, this show really affected this person's life."
But life goes on, and viewers don't see how the "real people" were actually affected. How the experience of being on TV can spackle over the cracks in a person's life for a while, but never get rid of them. How it can sometimes make them worse. And by then, we're on to the next show anyway.)
I work on one of these shows now. Not a medium show and not one nearly that ethically bankrupt. But without mentioning the name, I will say that there's a lot of discussion about ghosts and when you're talking ghosts, you're talking dead people.
Most of the time, when the people I talk to say they're being haunted, it's by an unnamed spirit. Either their house is on an ancient burial ground or six people were pole-axed there in the eighteenth century but no one knows who they were. It's just...ghosts. (Once in a while, someone will name the spirit that's harassing them. You know, like a pet. Like the windchimes will suddenly go crazy for no reason and they just tell the neighbors, "Oh, don't mind that. That's just Penny.") My point is, we're dealing mostly with dead people in the abstract--a concept, not a name.
Once in a while, though...
We just ran into a "case" where in the course of the "investigation" a female "ghost" was "found." And only one woman was known to have died on the site. And it was a violent death. And it less than 20 years ago. And we know her name. We even have her picture.
This woman still has a family out there. I know this. I checked. Their house is probably still covered with pictures of their daughter--their daughter who never even got to her 30's. They were certainly proud of her. I'm not going to tell you why, but they're right to be proud. They probably still have her trophies. Maybe they still have her room just the way it was when she left home.
And maybe they watch our network. And if they turn on the TV and hear her name or see her picture...then reality TV has just become too real. It's too much to ask of anyone, to have to relive that horror for the cheap entertainment of others. It's not fair to them and it would be cruel of us. It would make us tourists in their suffering.
No decision has been made yet. I'll let you know if I'm going to get the cell next to John Edward.
posted by Matthew at 7:46 AM
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