Sunday Ticket
The Super Bowl is this weekend, and I am backing Chicago--even if I hadn't lived on its northern border for four years, it would be an easy call. Why?
--The city of Indianapolis. Who cares? Yeah, you heard me. I'd root for Little Rock over Indy. There's absolutely nothing special about the place except for a big circle near the airport that's semi-important for one day a year. They gave us Letterman, but what have you done for me lately?
--Tony Dungy and Peyton Manning. OK, I know everyone in sports is ready to anoint St. Tony the Nice, and I know you're not supposed to hate a guy whose son killed himself last year, but you know what? I can. Not a huge surprise, a professional sports figure shilling his name out for a conservative, anti-gay group--the sports industry is just slightly less right-leaning than the Marines. But, Tony...you're supposed to be such a Nice Guy. Stand up with these guys and you're one of them. Period.
As for Manning, never mind the incessant advertising and the years of "Aw, shucks" failure. The fucker single-handedly dismantled Northwestern 48-28 in the 1997 Citrus Bowl, a game I drove 3200 miles to watch. Some people forget. Not me. I never forget, Peyton. Never.
--The Irsay family. First cousins to Adolf Hitler. It's true--you can look it up. They packed up the proudest franchise in football in the middle of the night and ran away like an scared john in a prostitution raid. And I quote Baltimore son Barry Levinson, whose movie Diner is one of the best things in God's Whole Creation:
And if you think the fact that the NFL gave Baltimore the Ravens makes up for it, then either the concept of loyalty means nothing to you or you're Jim Irsay. Same thing, basically.
--The RCA Dome. I realize that the city screwed up the renovation of Soldier Field, but it's still on the lakefront and it's still outdoors in Chicago. And you know what? Chicago wouldn't have it any other way. Green Bay plays outside. Buffalo plays outside. Not Indy. Even though they're almost 200 miles south of Chicago, they play in a dome. They want football, but not Football. They deserve to lose.
--Marvin Harrison and Dwight Freeney. Two Syracuse Orangemen turned Indianapolis Colts. Nothing bad to say about them. They're both supposed to be true class acts and I hope they get Super Bowl rings soon. Just not with this team.
It's not like I am a Bears fan, though. The Bills are my team, and my brother constantly reminds me that I can't name five of their players. It doesn't help that the team seems perpetually stuck at 7-9. Even when they're 2-1, you know they're just another 7-9 waiting to happen. Still, if it were Bills-Bears on Sunday, I wouldn't be living or dying with the result.
It just seems that, despite this surprising-even-to-me amount of anger about the Colts, I don't even really care that much about professional football. It's fun to watch on the weekends, but it doesn't sustain you.
No, the only two sports that matter--the only two teams that matter--are Boston Red Sox baseball and Syracuse basketball, and in that respect 2006 has been a profound disappointment. The Sox took a swan dive before turning over half of their roster in the offseason, while the 'Cuse are underperforming in ways that my father claims he has never seen from a Boeheim team. And yes, technically the amazing SU run in the Big East Tournament was in 2006, so it wasn't all bad. Still...
Whenever the Red Sox season ends...or is about to end, or looks like it's about to end, or they have a three game losing streak, my father says the same thing.
"Boys," he says, "SU basketball is right around the corner."
And whenever the SU season ends, etc., he says, "Opening Day is right around the corner."
I am so ready for baseball season. Play ball already.
--The city of Indianapolis. Who cares? Yeah, you heard me. I'd root for Little Rock over Indy. There's absolutely nothing special about the place except for a big circle near the airport that's semi-important for one day a year. They gave us Letterman, but what have you done for me lately?
--Tony Dungy and Peyton Manning. OK, I know everyone in sports is ready to anoint St. Tony the Nice, and I know you're not supposed to hate a guy whose son killed himself last year, but you know what? I can. Not a huge surprise, a professional sports figure shilling his name out for a conservative, anti-gay group--the sports industry is just slightly less right-leaning than the Marines. But, Tony...you're supposed to be such a Nice Guy. Stand up with these guys and you're one of them. Period.
As for Manning, never mind the incessant advertising and the years of "Aw, shucks" failure. The fucker single-handedly dismantled Northwestern 48-28 in the 1997 Citrus Bowl, a game I drove 3200 miles to watch. Some people forget. Not me. I never forget, Peyton. Never.
--The Irsay family. First cousins to Adolf Hitler. It's true--you can look it up. They packed up the proudest franchise in football in the middle of the night and ran away like an scared john in a prostitution raid. And I quote Baltimore son Barry Levinson, whose movie Diner is one of the best things in God's Whole Creation:
"I root against the Indianapolis Colts every time they play. … I want nothing good to happen to that team."
And if you think the fact that the NFL gave Baltimore the Ravens makes up for it, then either the concept of loyalty means nothing to you or you're Jim Irsay. Same thing, basically.
--The RCA Dome. I realize that the city screwed up the renovation of Soldier Field, but it's still on the lakefront and it's still outdoors in Chicago. And you know what? Chicago wouldn't have it any other way. Green Bay plays outside. Buffalo plays outside. Not Indy. Even though they're almost 200 miles south of Chicago, they play in a dome. They want football, but not Football. They deserve to lose.
--Marvin Harrison and Dwight Freeney. Two Syracuse Orangemen turned Indianapolis Colts. Nothing bad to say about them. They're both supposed to be true class acts and I hope they get Super Bowl rings soon. Just not with this team.
It's not like I am a Bears fan, though. The Bills are my team, and my brother constantly reminds me that I can't name five of their players. It doesn't help that the team seems perpetually stuck at 7-9. Even when they're 2-1, you know they're just another 7-9 waiting to happen. Still, if it were Bills-Bears on Sunday, I wouldn't be living or dying with the result.
It just seems that, despite this surprising-even-to-me amount of anger about the Colts, I don't even really care that much about professional football. It's fun to watch on the weekends, but it doesn't sustain you.
No, the only two sports that matter--the only two teams that matter--are Boston Red Sox baseball and Syracuse basketball, and in that respect 2006 has been a profound disappointment. The Sox took a swan dive before turning over half of their roster in the offseason, while the 'Cuse are underperforming in ways that my father claims he has never seen from a Boeheim team. And yes, technically the amazing SU run in the Big East Tournament was in 2006, so it wasn't all bad. Still...
Whenever the Red Sox season ends...or is about to end, or looks like it's about to end, or they have a three game losing streak, my father says the same thing.
"Boys," he says, "SU basketball is right around the corner."
And whenever the SU season ends, etc., he says, "Opening Day is right around the corner."
I am so ready for baseball season. Play ball already.
posted by Matthew at 2:56 AM
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